If you’re sitting there wondering who the heck John and Dave are, then it’s very likely that you are not familiar with Homestuck. In which case, I have this to say: Run. Run away. RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK. Homestuck will suck you in and ruin your life. You’ll wonder every five minutes why you’re still reading it, and yet ten hours later you will still be reading it. Back away from the laptop. Don’t do it.
Right then, if you’ve already been sucked into the endless vortex that is the Homestuck fandom, welcome to the club! Later we can sit around with a bottle of wine and muse how it’s utterly destroyed our lives. For now, however, let us contemplate the ship that is John and Dave.
John and Dave are bros. Best bros. Not like Dave’s bizarre older bro, but in the I’m-gonna-make-fun-of-your-Nick-Cage-obession-while-you-call-me-rad bros. Dave antagonizes John to no end, but we know it’s out of love. While John stumbles through his responsibilities as
leader chosen one something, Dave keeps him alive. It’s adorable.
AO3 – John/Dave accounts for 2487/22630 fics in the Homestuck fandom, or 11% of all Homestuck fics. It is first on the list of Homestuck’s top ten ships. We had no idea it was so popular because we were too busy shipping Karkat/Terezi, but have enthusiastically jumped onboard with this ship.
Fanfiction.net – 1.4k out of a total of 12k fics list John and Dave as the main two characters. Of these fics, 1k are categorized as romance. 319 of said romances are rated M, aka mostly smut. Basically, somewhere around 12% of the Homestuck fics on FF.net ship John/Dave, give or take. Not too shabby.
The Finer Details of Gay Cluckbeast by clumsyoctopus – This fic completely and accurately captures the amazing irony of one Dave Strider. Like, listen to terrible old music ironic. Like, carry a katana and fight your Bro for no reason amazing. Like, get engaged to your best male friend because you were trying to one-up one another amazingly ironic. Rated T, primarily for language. Read it here.
Marvelous Things by JumpingJackFlash – AU that takes place after SBURB. The kids and their guardians all live together. Dave and John are best snugglebros. When John breaks up with his girlfriend and no longer has a date to prom, he and Dave go together ironically. They proceed to have a romantic evening… ironically. Only at some point it isn’t ironic anymore. It’s so fluffy and sweet it’s like cotton candy. Rated Teen. Read it here.
A Very Important Day by cambion – Dave Strider is in love with John Egbert, his best friend. His best heterosexual, totally married friend. Poor Dave. Multi-chapter sadstuck fic. Rated Teen. Read it here.
Do you ship John and Dave? Tell us in the comments or tweet us at @ThreeChicGeeks!