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Pride, Prejudice, and Hipsters.

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The 28th of January marked the 200th anniversary of that Jane Austen classic we all know and love, Pride & Prejudice. Congrats to Jane Austen for influencing the past two centuries of romance novels. And here’s a shout out to the 5 billion adaptations of Lizzie Bennet’s life that have been made in that time.

But is the story still relevant today? Modern adaptations such as Bridget Jones’ Diary, Bride and Prejudice, and The Lizzie Bennet Diaries suggest that the story is still alive and well. However, we here at 3ChicGeeks.com feel that all these adaptations are missing something that would truly make the story modern: hipsters.

Everything is more relevant with hipsters.

Without further ado, we present to you Pride, Prejudice, and Hipsters.

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Liz Bennet is a vivacious 20-something pursuing a degree in Media Studies with a concentration on gender stereotypes in the media. Lizzie spends her time reading and blogging at her favorite café while enjoying underground indie music that you’ve probably never heard of. She has a close relationship with her father, the owner of a quirky antique store in town. Her relationship with her mother, however, is rather strained as it is Mrs. Bennet’s sole ambition to marry off all her daughters as soon as possible. Since Liz has never had a boyfriend, her mother often worries aloud that her second daughter is a lesbian.

There are four other Bennet daughters: the eldest, Jane, is a first-year elementary school teacher with a kind heart and a string of scumbag boyfriends. The third sister, Mary, is a recent high school graduate who spends her time writing preachy lyrics for her angsty pseudo-goth band. Cat and Lydia Bennet are a high school senior and sophomore, respectively. Cat is overly dependent on her outgoing, flirtatious younger sister and is somewhat resentful that Lydia got named cheerleading co-captain instead of her.

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Recently Charlie Bingley, a successful young entrepreneur, moved into the neighborhood. He pops into the Bennet family business one day on a whim where he is almost immediately swooped upon by an overly-eager Mrs. Bennet. It takes all the restraint she can muster to last a full thirty seconds before mentioning her five single, beautiful, and amazingly intelligent daughters. Always a courteous young man, Charlie invites the Bennet girls to the house warming party he is throwing in two nights’ time.

The girls are practically forced out the door by their mother and into the stuck-up, pretentious world of young, rich America. There the girls meet Charlie’s sister Carol, a two-faced and bigoted aspiring actress who has spent the past three years living off of daddy’s credit cards. They also encounter Will Darcy, one of Charlie’s many trust fund friends who is seemingly just like the rest. Liz is dreadfully bored the entire time, so she quickly calls over her best friend Charlotte (aka Char), a Gender & Women’s Studies major in Liz’s class.

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As it turns out, Jane and Charlie get along amazingly well and Liz is dragged on several very awkward double dates with Will. In addition to mind-numbingly tedious dates with Mr. I’m-Above-It-All Darcy, Liz also has to deal with the advances of her father’s employee, Colin. Colin is a religious fanatic who is perpetually closeted because of his beliefs. Lizzie spends a good deal of time arguing with Mrs. Bennet about why she cannot date Colin despite him being “a lovely boy” and refuting her mother’s claim that “beggars can’t be choosers”.

Then George Wickham, an aspiring inventor who is always coming up with his next get-rich-quick scheme comes along. He confirms for Liz what she already knew all along: that Will Darcy is a fake, full of himself, a thief, and looks down upon anyone who doesn’t come from one of the finest prep schools in the nation.

Things get complicated, Liz’s emotions are all over the place and she spends a good deal of time blogging and watching live indie folk bands.

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Then shenanigans ensue.

Long story short, Char starts dating Colin as a political statement involving the fluidity of sexuality and perception versus personal sexual identification. Liz visits Char in the new apartment she shares with her boyfriend and meets Colin’s idol and extremely fundamentalist neighbor, Catherine Du Bourgh… who just happens to be Will Darcy’s aunt. Catherine vehemently disapproves of Liz, whom she thinks will lead Will down the devil’s path with her tight pants and atheist music.

Lydia runs off with George, gets knocked up, and the latter has to be swindled by Will into marrying the youngest Bennet daughter. Liz starts to forgive Will and comes to find out that he’s not like the other trust fund kids and is in fact working towards his PhD in literature. Apparently he’s like, deep or something. Jane eventually marries Charlie, and Liz starts a relationship with Will.

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They spend a lot of time at coffee shops.

The End!

All photography featured in today’s post are original photos by Freak Geek and Critique Geek. You may not print, repost, or distribute these photos in any way without the express written consent of 3ChicGeeks.com.

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Author: Critique Geek

Writer and dreamer with a BA in Sarcasm. All-around nerd and lover of geeky things.

9 thoughts on “Pride, Prejudice, and Hipsters.

  1. Hilarious. For so many reasons.

  2. This is so witty and clever I thoroughly enjoyed it!! I just found a wonderful little snack of a novel called “Dear Mr. Darcy: A Retelling of Pride and Prejudice” maybe you’ve already heard of it but it’s super fun I think you’d love it :-)

  3. …There should be a feature on this site, where you can like individual posts. Just sayin’. This, like, totally made my day or something. ;)

  4. LOL! Awesome. I love me some P & P. Even if hipsters are involved.

  5. Pingback: More Fictional Boys We Want to Date (Who Would Make Even Worse Boyfriends) « Three Chic Geeks

  6. Have you seen the Lizzie Bennet Diaries? Very similar to what you wrote :D

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