Carry on, my wayward son… When you’re a fan of Supernatural, things tend to get out of hand. One moment, you’re hearing the words “Dad’s gone on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days”, next moment you’re sobbing over Destiel fanfiction with a word count of approximately seventy thousand and a plot more convoluted than the entire timeline of Doctor Who. (What, that’s never happened to you? Well, this is awkward.) In any case, we here at 3ChicGeeks.com have come up with a perfect bucket list of all the things the average Supernatural fan should do at least once in their lifetimes.
WARNING: This may contain spoilers and some of the items on the bucket list should be performed under the watchful eye of a seraph
or two or not at all.
1. Cross-country Road Trip. Slaying demons along the way is purely optional.
2. Eat a really good burger. Follow up with pie.
3. Encounter Satan in Georgia (or Michigan). Bet a fiddle of gold against your soul.
4. Learn the lyrics to Kansas’s Carry On Wayward Son by heart.
5. Go around calling everyone an assbutt.
6. End up as a contestant on a strange Japanese game show that threatens your reproductive organs. Ogle skimpily dressed idols. Attempt to avoid getting hit in the balls.
7. Walk around wearing sunglasses at night. Make puns about everything. When questioned as to WHY you are doing such a thing, whip out FBI credentials.
8. Own at least one piece of fake ID that identifies you as a member of a prominent classic rock band.
9. Memorize the entire discography of Led Zeppelin.
10. Make references to obscure cult classic movies that almost no one in your company has seen.
11. For Halloween, go as a vampirate.
12. Visit Robert Johnson’s burial site. While you’re at it, visit the crossroads where Robert Johnson is said to have sold his soul to Lucy.
13. Meet God. Inform him that if he continues to write the Bible, you will shoot him.
14. Obtain a late-sixties Chevy Impala. Get your license plates in Kansas.
15. Spend a day eating pie. Cherry pie, banana cream pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie, apple pie… PIE.
16. Create a gifset consisting entirely of Sam Winchester’s bitchfaces.
17. Build your own EMF detector from the scraps of old technology.
18. Carry salt, iron, rosaries and a Bible everywhere you go. Just in case.
19. Start a hunting journal. Try not to use it as a diary.
20. Learn to play Metallica songs on the guitar. It’s fairly easy and Dean would be totally impressed, trust us.
21. Spend so much time listening to classic rock that you can name each song used throughout the series after the first two seconds.
22. Memorize several incantations for exorcisms. Be certain of your pronunciation; you don’t want to accidentally order a pizza or something.
23. Make a list of reasons why you should not make deals with demons. Consult extensively when tempted.
24. Avoid making deals with demons.
25. Grip someone tight and raise them from perdition.
26. Learn how to make a devil’s trap out of duct tape.
27. Learn how to shoot a gun.
28. Go to hell for forty years.
29. Take a bubble bath with Lucifer.
30. Get yourself a badass leather jacket. Wear it everywhere.
3 Chic Geeks wishes you the best of luck on your journey to becoming a full-fledged hunter and is not responsible for any misfortunes or arrests which may occur. Meretricious, and a happy new year.