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Ultimate Supernatural Holiday Gift Guide 2012

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Do you have that one friend who cries when Kansas’s Carry On Wayward Son is played? That one friend who is constantly dying of a disease they consistently refer to as “Destiel Feels”? Do they spend hours waxing poetic about the depths of Misha Collins’s eyes? Do they scream every time a black late-sixties Chevy Impala drives by? And do they carry salt, a rosary and a Bible with them everywhere (and when you ask why, they gaze at you with sadness and pity in their eyes)? Well, your friend is probably into Supernatural like we’re into Jared Padalecki’s abs. Seeing as we are such helpful, kind people, we have prepared a handy-dandy sonic gift guide for you. It’s a little something that goes beyond the basic bag of rock salt and flask of holy water, and your demon hunting friend will most certainly love finding ALL of these under their tree… if they have a tree, that is. For all we know they’ll be stuck in a rubbish motel because they’re out looking for their dad who went on a hunt and hasn’t been back in a while and oh okay feels… excuse me, I have to go weep uncontrollably now.

Winchester Bros To Hell & Back World TourCasa Erotica 13 '67 Hunting Champion

1. Demon Hunting Attire.

Look, let’s be realistic here. Hunting demons is a thankless job. The only comfort you have is wearing whatever the hell you like – because, unlike most jobs, hunting doesn’t have a uniform (unless you’re impersonating FBI agents, in which case, for the love of Castiel’s feathery ass, wear a suit).

From left to right:

Winchester Bros To Hell & Back World Tour by mannypdesign – If the Winchesters were a band, they’d be the kind that play every single crappy bar they cam across. Renegades, outside the control of labels and Hollywood and whatnot, they’d build up a following just by driving around and playing… which is how a band should be. $22.65, Redbubble.com

Casa Erotica 13 by teamfreewill – Did you leave what basically amounted to a suicide note in the form of a cheesy porno DVD? No? Okay then, shut your piehole. If you need me, I will be sobbing my eyes out while laughing hysterically. $21.54, Redbubble.com

’67 Hunting Champion by wytrab8 – Pay homage to The Baby with this retro-style shirt. If anyone asks what you were hunting, give them a funny look and say “demons” really solemnly. $25.56, Redbubble.com

2. A BAMF Soundtrack.

Part of the reason I started watching Supernatural in the first place is the killer soundtrack. I mean, come on – AC/DC, Survivor, Kansas, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Poison, the Creedence? That’s about 1/3 of my Last.fm‘s top listened artists right there… more or less. Anyway, you can’t drive around killing demons without having something awesome to distract you from potential homoerotic thoughts about a clueless angel of the Lord. While the best thing would be to plunder this list of every single song used in Supernatural and make a mixtape (if you actually know what those are) – CDs are a close second. Just don’t bring an iPod dock near Dean’s Baby. He will end you.

From left to right:

Slippery When Wet by Bon Jovi – Liking Bon Jovi is NOT cool in Dean’s book. Well, too bad, Dean. Metallica sucks. $21.66, Amazon.com

Best of by Kansas – Contains hit classics such as “Dust in the Wind” and “Carry On Wayward Son”. Box of tissues for your feels not included. $7.00, Amazon.com

Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin – Everyone knows Dean Winchester’s got a bit of a fixation with Led Zeppelin, as it is the most referred-to band in the whole series. Several episodes (In My Time Of Dying, What Is and What Should Never Be, When The Leevee Breaks, The Song Remains the Same) are named after Zeppelin songs. Plus, I am somewhat convinced “Kashmir” is about The Doctor. $9.99, Amazon.com

Jump Back: The Best of the Rolling Stones by the Rolling Stones - Another favorite of Dean Winchester, this album will serve as an excellent introduction to the Rolling Stones. $8.49, Amazon.com

Apple pie ring   Apple Pie Scent Oil  Cherry Pie Earrings  Mint Lollipops

3. There’ll be pie in the sky…

Dean Winchester has priorities: Sammy, Baby (Impala, if you know not), a good soundtrack, a warm body and some pie. Yup, Dean Winchester loves him some pie, and if you expect for a minute you’d get lucky catching him, you need to have some pie.

From left to right:

Apple Pie Ring by CAMinnies - The best way to wear apple pie that isn’t NSFW. This slice looks plenty realistic. Guaranteed to catch the roving eye of traveling demon hunters. $7.00, Etsy.com

Apple Pie Fragrance Oil – Dean has a great sense of smell – and if he smells pie, you can bet he’ll be by. Put out a vial of this stuff and he’ll come running. $2.25/oz, Artfire.com

Cherry Pie With A Fork Earrings by MotherMayl - She’s my cherry pie, cool drink of water such a sweet surprise, taste so good make a grown man cry, sweet cherry pie~ While I should probably be embarrassed by the fact that I can recall most Warrant (and W.A.S.P. and Poison) lyrics from memory, I can’t be arsed to feel shame. If it’s good enough for Dean Winchester, it’s good enough for me. $16.00, Etsy.com

Christmas Mint Lollypops - Oh, I’m sorry, you were trying to trap a mysterious trickster archangel that masqueraded as the norse god of trickery, not a blundering mortal with a fixation on the angel of Thursdays and eye-sex? Well, lucky for you, Gabriel loves his lollypops. $5.55, See’s Candies

Embroidery Sampler Tuesday Special  Pig n a PokeKey of SOlomon StickerSupernatural Shot Glasses

4. Anti-demon Decor.

Not quite cut out for a life on the road, are ya? Perhaps you’d rather turn your place into the perfect center of operations for hunters who need assistance with pesky subjects such as research and proving they’re in the FBI. That’s all well and good, but you’re going to need some stuff beyond the basics.

From left to right:

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole” embroidery sampler by breakbeat – Things that are awesome: This quote. Embroidery samplers. Impalas. $18.95, Etsy.com

Pig n a Poke Tuesday Special Poster - “Pig n a poke, you said that yesterday, Dean.” For the kitchen. For mysterious spots affected by mischevious archangels. And for Tuesdays in general… $12-$30, depending on size, CafePress.com

Key of Solomon Sticker by fixedinpost - Demons come and demons come often. Trapping them requires being crafty and tricky and clever. You can bet those buggers won’t be expecting stickers. $2.40, Redbubble.com

Supernatural Shot Glasses - “I found a liquor store.” “And?” “I drank it.” Hunting is so difficult that even an angel of the Lord needs some liquid courage once in a while. While drinking out the bottle is all well and good, I recommend getting some shot glasses so you aren’t drinking like savages. $16.95, WBShop.com

Dean's Ring ReplicaWanted Dead or AliveDean's Raku Pendant

5. Odds & Ends.

Not everything is easily classified. Here are some gift options you should consider, even if we can’t exactly make up a clever tagline for them at the moment.

From left to right:

Castiel journal“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” And it was these words that launched a ship. Perfect notebook to keep your WIP notes in. We won’t judge… We all have AO3s here. $12.50, Cafepress.com

Dean’s Ring Replica – We’d all like to be wearing Dean’s ring… right? RIGHT?? $9.95, TVMerch.com

Sam & Dean Wanted Poster iPhone Case by Shaun BeresfordI’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, wanted dead or alive~ If you’re on the run from the law, this would probably be a great iPhone case for you. Just remember to shoot the deputy if you shoot the sheriff. $37.20, Redbubble.com

Dean’s Necklace by cinsationalbaubles – If just looking at it doesn’t give you feels, you’re doing it wrong. $9.00, Etsy.com

Happy hunting!

Be sure to check out our other gift guides:

Author: Freak Geek

I love candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach and killing demons. Usually you can find me at rock concerts. 90% of redditors believe me to be male. I'm pretty sure I'm Loki.